I finally received my formal application today, and it just drove home how excited I am about this process. It took me over 12 hours to even work up the courage to open it! All of the information I read aligned with what I am looking to accomplish in mission work and in life. Of course, this also terrifies me. I have a ridiculous fear of admitting when I want something because then I will be embarrassed if I don't get it. I didn't tell people I was thinking about changing careers until I had been thinking about it for 5 years and seriously planning it for a year. I have been thinking about mission work on and off for about 10 years now, and it is only in the last week that I have really told people I am serious about it. The fear comes from my own ego and wanting to protect my pride, which is selfish. People want to be a part of this journey and are genuinely excited for me, and I want to be able to share this with them. Even if it does not work out, they will understand me a little better.
On that note, imagine my surprise when I opened the application and there was a question specifically asking how people had reacted upon hearing about my desire to do mission work! As scared as I was to do it, I have spent the last week telling family and friends about my next steps, and their reactions have been amazing.
Mom: I always thought you would do that. Ok, so we will sell all of your stuff and you can live here right before you go to training. Leave me with access to a bank account so we can handle your student loan payments. (Zero shock, straight to planning.)
Dad: *immediately logs onto Google* Holy s*** Bolivia is really far away!
Mom again: Please don't go to El Salvador, you will die.
Family email chain: That is so cool! What will you do? Where will you go? Quickly turned into jokes about drugs and sex. I would expect nothing less, and would have been horribly disappointed had they reacted any other way.
Friend from church: Selfishly I want you to stay here, but I also want you to go. (she then put a prayer intention into our mass for those discerning mission work and I almost cried. By far the sweetest thing anyone has every done for me. The power of prayer gets me. EVERY. TIME.)
Another friend from church: That is awesome, you are an inspiration (Ha!)
A friend who did mission work: I hope you go to El Salvador. I can visit you there. They are so going to choose you.
Coworkers: Wow cool! What do you mean "discern?"
All in all, a success. Now to actually finish the application.
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