Loyalty vs. Longing

When I first graduated, I had a hard time finding a church home.  All I wanted was to be part of a parish.  To me, that meant community and support.  I wanted to have a place that felt like home, where I recognized the faces at mass and we lifted each other up in prayer.  For anyone that has ever joined a church, you know that does not always happen.  Churches are big places with a lot of people and different personalities.  There will always be people you bond with and people you do not.  When I moved to Houston, I was lucky to find the church I loved.  When I sat in the pew that first weekend, I knew that this place was going to be important.  A little old lady sitting next to me insisted on walking me over to the ministry fair where I was introduced to the youth minister.  Little did I know that my Houston family was beginning, and my goddaughter wasn't even born yet!

Outside of youth ministry, I do not have many connections to my parish.  I just have not been able to put roots down there.  I go to church on Sunday and volunteer at least one day a week, but the daily mass schedule does not work for me and I am missing the faith development I experienced at my last parish.  It's nothing to do with the church (obviously) I am just unsure whether it is still a good match.  On the other hand, the church is just a building and it is really made up of the people.  Am I putting in enough to make it home?

More and more, I find myself spending time at another parish.  It is much more traditional and I am finding peace in that.  I know that I am changing as a person, and it seems to line up more with who I am.  The young adult group gets together and prays the rosary.  They have a Latin mass.  They have a Saturday mass at 12:05, which is surprisingly hard to find!  I see the same group of people at daily mass, and they all have missals and copies of the Magnificat to help deepen their faith.  I don't have friends there, but I know that any I make will be centered on God first.

For now, I am not making any changes.  There is no need.  Gone are the days when you went to the church in your neighborhood, and I'm blessed to live in a city where I can find a mass any time I want.  Instead of worrying about my loyalties to a particular church, I want to focus on longing for a relationship with Christ.